Tuesday, 28 July 2009

It takes two to tango

Brave New World (The Star)
June 25, 2009

"The little sneak was secretly chatting to his ex-girlfriend who he had dated in the 70s and 80s with disastrous results."


Dear Aunty Selma,

I never thought that I would be the type of person to write to a newspaper Agony Aunt, but really I am at my wits end and I do not know what to do.

It all started last year. I met this man and at first I was a little wary of him. I mean he was nice and well mannered, but sometimes he was a little conservative for my tastes.

But eventually after we got to know each other better, I thought that on the more important things, we saw eye to eye.

It was a whirlwind romance and we had such an exciting time. Many friends thought our relationship was a breath of fresh air. So, in this heady atmosphere, we decided to get married. We had a truly amazing wedding last March.

Then, before the honeymoon period was even over, he started to act really strange. He kept making these mysterious phone calls and when I walk into the room, he would suddenly hang up.

I was suspicious but thought that being a jealous wife was just not on. I decided to trust him. Oh how I rue that decision.

It turned out that the little sneak was secretly chatting to his ex-girlfriend. He had dated this girl in the 70s and 80s and it was a disastrous relationship.

He almost lost everything because of this girl. But suddenly he is talking to her again. I really cannot understand why.

She is a rich girl and maybe it is her wealth that is attracting him. I am sure it is not her looks. I am so angry at her. I will bet my bottom dollar that she is the one who has been trying to tempt him away from me.

Anyway, I confronted him and he seems repentant. He swore he is not going to go out with her anymore and that he is mine forever.

The trouble is Aunty Selma, I just don’t know whether I can trust him again. I am so hurt and I cry to sleep every night. Please help.


Desperate and Pretty

Dear Desperate and Pretty,

There, there. Don’t waste your tears. Men are like that. They can be such fickle creatures. Obviously this ex-girlfriend has something that he misses; a sexual quirk perhaps. Who knows?

The point is I admire your decision to stick with him. But even so, you must go into this relationship with open eyes.

Please do not try to make excuses for him by saying it’s the other girl’s fault. She may be a slattern, but it takes two to tango and from the sounds of it, he was getting into the beat quite willingly.

From now on, you must keep a sharp eye on him. It is his responsibility to earn your trust once more. My advice is to simply put your shoulder to the wheel and concentrate on making sure this relationship works.

Of course, if he should stray again, well, he has had his chance. Dump him like the rotten tomato he is. I am certain he will be ostracised by all your friends who have given you two such goodwill and love.

Let him see what it feels like to be shunned and left in the cold. Serves him right!

Dear Aunty Selma,

My boss won’t give me a day off. He expects me to work seven days a week. What should I tell him?


Made to Work

Dear Made to Work,

Your boss sounds like a very unreasonable man. My advice is very simple, go up to him and quote the following passage. It is Article 24 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

“Everyone has the right to rest and leisure, including reasonable limitation of working hours and periodic holidays with pay.”

I assume you are human and therefore you deserve to be treated as such.

That’s all I have time for this week loyal readers. Join me again next week as I deal with “Broken White Heart Lane” and his depression due to underachieving all the time. Cheerio my darlings!

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